Reckless Pleasures Page 12

  THE CHIRP OF HER CELL phone woke Megan from a dead sleep. She blindly reached for it, her heart racing.

  “Hello?” she said before pressing the right button. “Hello?” she said again.

  She listened for a moment, then slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position and reached for the lamp switch. “Say that again, please?”

  She disconnected and then sat for long minutes listening to nothing but the hum of the air conditioner and the thud of her own heart.

  Damn.

  Forcing herself out of bed, she climbed into her jeans, grabbed a T-shirt, then headed for the door barefoot. Before she knew it, she was pushing her tangled hair from her face and knocking on Linc’s door. She wasn’t surprised when it opened to reveal a fully dressed and alert Linc.

  “Hey,” she said. “Is…”

  She didn’t have to finish the question. Dari was already next to Linc, taking his place in the doorway.

  “What is it?” he asked, appearing as disoriented as she felt.

  Still, the immediate concern on his handsome face, and the way he leaped when he heard her at the door, made her pulse jump.

  So much so, she regretted saying what she was about to.

  “It’s Savage,” she said. “He got into a barroom brawl and is in the county lockup.”

  The softness on his face vanished, replaced by hardness. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “He tried calling you but you didn’t pick up.”

  He scrubbed his hand over his face and then back over his closely cropped hair.

  “He’s in the next county. Do you have any sway with the sheriff to act as intermediary?”

  “Why in the hell would I want to do that? Maybe he should just cool his heels behind bars. He got into the fight. He should pay the consequences.”

  “The altercation was with Dominic Falzone.”

  His brows rose. “Damn.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  They stood there silently for long moments, neither of them saying anything, nor appearing to know what to do at all.

  Should she offer to go with him? As much as she wanted to, she didn’t think it a good idea. Whatever was going on between the two men needed to be sorted out between the two men.

  As for her and Dari…

  Her stomach clenched.

  Well, she was growing increasingly fearful that there was no her and Dari. Not anymore.

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  She nodded and then sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “Good night.”

  “Oh. Yeah. Good night.”

  The door closed softly in her face.

  Megan tried to blink back tears, but found them streaming down her cheeks instead. She turned and hurried to her room where she could let them roll unchecked.

  JASON’S HEAD POUNDED, as much from the drink as from the stool he’d taken to the back of it. What had started as a simple fist throwing had quickly escalated into an outright brawl with everyone with a gripe in the bar joining in the melee.

  He wasn’t amused he was the only one pulled in.

  Just when he thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, they had.

  He heard the jangling of keys. He turned his head where he lay across a small, metal bunk and watched a deputy approach the bars.

  “Better get up, Savage. Seems you have some friends in high places.”

  Jason flipped him off.

  “Nice. I love you, too.” The man opened the bars.

  Jason pushed up from the bunk, swaying slightly before regaining his balance and stepping through the open door.

  A minute later he faced the one responsible for springing him: Dari. The last person on earth he would have expected.

  They stood staring at each other.

  “I need you to sign here for your personal effects,” the deputy said, shoving an oversize Ziploc bag holding a wallet and change in his direction along with a form.

  Jason did as asked and then tilted his things from the bag. When he turned around, Dari was gone.

  He hurried out the door.

  “Hey!” he called out to where Dari was heading for one of the rented SUVs.

  Dari stopped but didn’t turn.

  Jason advanced on him.

  It was still dark, but dawn’s bruised fingers were beginning to grip the sky to the east, telling him the morning wasn’t far off. The air was thick and heavy and still, a harbinger for another hot, stormy day.

  “Are you ever planning to talk to me about this?”

  He caught the way Dari clenched and unclenched his fists.

  “You’re not really going to throw away years of friendship because of one stupid mistake, are you?”

  Dari swung toward him. “Now it’s a mistake? The other night it was just sex.”

  Jason’s frown went bone deep. “It was just sex. The mistake part enters in where you’re concerned.”

  He crossed his arms, apparently waiting.

  Jason glanced at the SUV and then rubbed the top of his head. “Look, why don’t we talk about this over breakfast. I’ve got a splitting headache and could really use a cup of coffee.”

  Dari didn’t budge.

  “Fine. You want to have this out here, we’ll have this out here then.”

  Still nothing.

  “Look, I never intended for you to find out, man…”

  Dari looked dangerously like he must have last night when the kid refused to shut up.

  Hell.

  “Scratch that. Hey, I know nothing I could ever say could make this any better for you. What happened between Megan and I had nothing to do with love…”

  Dari’s hand slammed against his chest so quickly Jason didn’t know what hit him until he was flat against the side of the SUV. “It had everything to do with love—my love for her.”

  Jason stayed still, not daring to contradict him. “And her love for you?” he asked.

  Dari released him.

  “She does love you, you know.”

  “I know.” Dari moved toward the driver’s side of the SUV.

  “So what’s the problem then?”

  His friend turned on him and jabbed a finger in his direction. “The problem is that I learned the hard way that I can’t trust the two most important people in my life.”

  “Bullshit. You can trust both of us with your life.”

  “But not my heart.”

  Jason put his hands on his hips. “Oh, give me a break. You sound like a fifteen-year-old girl with a crush.”

  “Fuck you, Savage.”

  “Excuse me, but I think that’s how this whole thing got started to begin with.”

  He didn’t see the fist coming until it connected with his right brow. He stumbled back a couple of steps and then lifted his hand to find blood trickling from a gash.

  “I probably deserve that.”

  “You deserve much more.”

  He nodded. “You’re right.” He sighed. “Look, I’ve never been in love. Not like you and Meg. I pretend to understand what you’re going through, but the truth is I don’t have a clue. If you tell me your heart is aching, I’m likely to tell you to buy antacids.”

  “Which is why I can’t talk to you. Now or ever.”

  Darius climbed into the SUV, started it and began pulling away, forcing Jason to step back before he got sideswiped.

  He kicked at the gravel and cursed a blue streak, damning himself and his oversexed libido to hell and back.

  19

  TWO DAYS LATER, Megan retraced her steps from the firing range at the Lazarus compound back in Colorado Springs. Would there come a time when her feet would feel lighter? When she could lift her head without major effort? When her heart didn’t feel like a lump of pulsing, aching lead in her chest?

  She knew that time would heal everything. But right then, it didn’t feel that way.

  As far as she could tell, Dari had yet to return home from Florida. Or at least, he hadn’t returned to C
olorado or his apartment.

  She, on the other hand, was aware of every tick of the clock since her return. She kept busy with Lazarus, jumping right back in where she left off, then spent her nights reviewing the Finley case, even though it was officially closed and the national news media had stopped airing coverage.

  She glanced over at where Jason had just knocked a recruit’s boot with one of his to get him to widen his shooting stance, and then raised the guy’s hold. He didn’t appear to be doing much better than she was. Not that they’d talked about it. She didn’t think it a good idea to be caught talking to him for any extended period in case Dari did plan to return. It was something she barely dared hope for, but did nonetheless.

  It was the end of another long day, with another long night yawning in front of her like a fathomless hole. She was lucky if she remembered to eat and she never quite remembered how she made it from the compound to home, although she apparently managed it safely.

  She opened the compound door, cleaned and stored the weapon she’d used for target practice and then ran straight into Jason who apparently had the same idea.

  “Sorry,” he said quietly, avoiding her gaze.

  She took a deep breath and released it. “This is ridiculous. How long are we going to keep avoiding each other?”

  He met her gaze. “I figured until the end of the millennium at least.”

  That inspired a small smile. “That’s a pretty long time.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Conversation lagged and a couple of recruits came in and made their way around where they stood. Megan watched them, thinking she should move on before causing any more unwanted gossip.

  Jason’s voice stopped her. “You know, I don’t think I ever told you, you know…”

  His words drifted off.

  The hesitation was so unlike Jason, Megan couldn’t help wondering what he’d gone through over the past week since Dari’s return from overseas. She’d been so consumed with her own drama she hadn’t stopped to consider his.

  Perhaps in some way she had blamed him. Had he not made that suggestion that night…well, they would never have slept together.

  But that was a cop out. She went into it knowing full well what she was doing.

  And despite everything that had transpired in the interim, it had been exactly what she’d needed at the time.

  “I’m sorry,” he said finally.

  Megan raised her brows, fairly certain she was hearing things. “Pass that by me again?”

  He grimaced. “Have you ever considered the reason guys don’t apologize often is because you girls make it so damn tough?”

  She raised a hand. “No, no. I’m not asking you to repeat yourself for any other reason than I can’t figure out what you’re sorry for.”

  He shifted on his feet.

  To say the atmosphere between them had been stressed since Dari’s return was a considerable understatement. But they’d both accepted responsibility for their actions. And they both were now paying the price.

  “What isn’t there to be sorry for?” Jason asked. “From making that stupid-ass suggestion, to telling Dari about it and everything in between, I think there’s a whole lot of apologizing to be done. On my part.”

  She was speechless.

  “That’s got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said.

  They stood looking at each other for a long time.

  Jason had always been the one who knew his own mind. Who made instinctive decisions and stuck to them, without hesitation. It was one of the qualities that had made him so effective on the battlefield…and successful as a business partner.

  Why was he backing away from that now?

  Megan ultimately shook her head. “Apology not accepted.”

  She turned to walk away and he lightly grasped her arm.

  “I’ve already lost one goddamn friend over this. I don’t want to lose another.”

  She smiled. “You’re not. Losing a second friend, that is. I don’t accept your apology because you have nothing to be sorry for.”

  He stared at her as if unsure she was telling the truth.

  “Seriously,” she added.

  “So what you’re telling me is that this is the first time I’ve apologized to a woman in my life, and there was no reason to…”

  “Oh, that can’t possibly be true,” she said. Then she looked at him closer. “Was that really the first time you’ve apologized to a woman?”

  His grimace told her it was.

  “Wow.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Well, I suppose that’s progress…”

  “Yeah, but progress toward what?”

  She laid a hand on his shoulder. “Toward becoming a man.”

  He snorted and she laughed, something that felt good if only because it seemed so long since she’d done it.

  MEGAN SAT CROSS-LEGGED on her bed much later that night, half-eaten egg foo yong in a carton at her left knee, her folder on the Finley case at her right. The television ran a DVD of different video segments the girls at the office had put together for her on Finley’s recovery. They’d even included some portions from while she was missing, mostly snippets where Lazarus personnel were speaking.

  But just then, she paid attention to none of it. She had her cell phone in her hands, checking for messages. There were none. Same with texts.

  Biting her bottom lip, she scrolled through her address book until she came to Dari’s name, then pulled it up onto the screen. Her thumb hovered over the call button…where it stayed for long moments before she canceled the request and tossed the cell to the bed with the rest of the items surrounding her.

  Today’s exchange with Jason had proved a salve of sorts, which she hadn’t expected. She hadn’t been aware of the rift that existed there until he offered up his awkward apology. Not that they’d ever been the best friends he and Dari were, but there had been friendship. And they’d lost that in the wake of the disaster last week.

  While they were a ways away from becoming close buds, it was nice to be able to call him a friend again.

  She only wished other areas of her life could be as easily repaired.

  She glanced at the television to find a shot of little Finley being carried from the sheriff’s office by her grandfather, the blanket over her head to protect her from the cameras sliding off a bit. Megan reached for the remote and turned up the volume, although there was nothing to be heard over the cacophony of reporters’ questions.

  The blanket slipped farther…

  The cell phone rang. In her hurry to answer, she toppled the take-out carton onto the floor.

  “Hello?”

  “Meggie?”

  Her dad.

  The butterflies in her stomach slowed the hopeful flapping of their wings. Not Dari.

  “Hi, Dad,” she said, picking up the remote and muting the television volume. “How are you?”

  “Fine. I’m fine. And you?”

  “Fine.”

  Silence. Which was pretty much the hallmark of the majority of their conversations over the years. She had become so accustomed to the routine, she’d never considered she had the power to change it.

  Until now.

  “Dad, what are you doing right now?”

  It was seven-thirty on a weeknight. She knew he was probably settled in for Jeopardy! and then would follow that with either a novel or biography before retiring at ten.

  “Pardon me?” He sounded surprised.

  “I was thinking I could bring over a pint of your favorite butter-pecan ice cream and we could have a visit.”

  Silence. But this time it wasn’t because neither of them had anything to say.

  She’d never dared make such a suggestion before. Upset the routine. She wasn’t really sure why. But she was determined it was long past time that both of them began living outside their regimented lives.

  “Well, yes. I’d like that,” he said, warmth in his voice. “I’d like
that a lot…”

  20

  DARI ENTERED HIS Colorado Springs apartment feeling as if he wore lead shoes rather than his regular military-issue boots. The place was stuffy. Not surprising, since he hadn’t been there in over four months. He knew Megan had aired it out on a regular basis while he was away, but now…

  As he adjusted the thermostat to a lower temperature, he caught a glimpse of a note on the counter next to the refrigerator. He read it where it sat:

  I left your key by the door and removed my personal belongings. There’s condensed milk and cereal in the cupboard along with a few other nonperishables. Didn’t know when or if you’d be back.

  Love,

  Megan.

  He stared at the note for long moments, waiting for his heart to unclench. Then he picked it up, causing something to clink underneath. His eyes focused on the engagement ring he’d given her. She had returned it as casually as his house key.

  He picked the ring up, staring at it, then slid it up and down his pinkie finger several times before shoving it into his pants pocket.

  He’d stayed on in Florida for a couple of extra days, hoping the time would help make his return home easier. It hadn’t. If anything, it seemed to worsen it. The weight of Megan’s absence throbbed as badly as his injured leg.

  He put the note down on the counter and checked the cupboards. She’d bought far more than her note indicated. The evidence of her regular generosity despite what had happened between them made the ache more acute.

  He collected the extra key from where she’d left it near the door, rubbing it between his thumb and fingers until the metal grew warm to the touch. Then he put it on his key ring next to the other.

  Damn. Why did he feel guilty when he was the one who had been wronged?

  That was a sensation he hadn’t expected to experience. It emerged the night she left Florida, and seemed to feed on the lengthening gap growing between them ever since.

  He caught himself rubbing his leg above his knee. In the wake of Jason’s admission, he hadn’t given a great deal of thought to his injury, and had begun to fear it had become infected. But a visit to a Florida VA hospital had shown it was healing nicely, although probably not as quickly as it could. He’d need to rest more for that to happen.